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Another fun PHP rant
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jducoeur
Only for programmers (nobody else is likely to care, or even understand much of it) and if you actually *like* PHP -- well, my apologies and you don't want to read it. But I have to admit that a year of working on the effing OP project (the first and last time I will ever work in PHP) has made me *deeply* appreciate this utterly foul-mouthed, rude and completely accurate rant about the horrors of the language...

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Heh. And here I thought you couldn't top the whole "I picked the function names so the hash didn't collide" thing...

Hadn't seen that one, but had seen this one, which lists Pi's rant as one of the inspirations. It drills down into a multitude of bullet-point examples.

Jeff Atwood had an interesting perspective on it, which you may appreciate, being involved in something akin to what he proposes.

Yeah, I actually started with the "fractal of bad design" (which Aaron pointed me to months ago), and that one is far more detailed and informative. But for sheer visceral fun, I think Pi's is lovely.


And yeah -- part of why I'm taking my time with QL is to try to *not* wind up with PHP at the other end. Far more of the language is designed than is yet implemented, but I'm intentionally going slow and allowing things to percolate before I commit myself, so that I have as much chance as possible to get it right. (I am astonished that we've gotten as far as we have without name bindings.)

I'm under no illusions that QL will become the next big general-purpose language -- indeed, one of Querki's stakes in the ground is that you have to sacrifice the "programming is all about text files" mentality in order to achieve usability -- but I do hope to at least come up with something that works well for the domain I'm tackling...

I did a little PHP about 15 years ago, enough to get tired of it. Before I gave up on it, I wrote a PHP script to generate a sheet of SCA cards—business cards with my contact info and arms. (Did one for cvirtue too, of course.) Did it as as script so it could loop, of course. But the next time I wanted to print some, the GIF generating API had been removed from Red Hat, and the JPEG API was completely different. So, fine, rewrite it, even though I was over PHP by that time. Then, the next time, the JPEG API was gone, and it was PNG. This time, no way; I rewrote the whole thing in PostScript, splines and all.

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