"Difficult to define. Impossible to resist. Inspired by a man on a mission, a journey of sensual discovery. Tiberius -- boldly go."The latter
"is made for the young, modern man who is alive today -- and knows it. [...] Red Shirt Cologne. Because Tomorrow May Never Come."I really want to believe that this is an April Fools' gag, but if it is, they're not giving any sign of it aside from the sheer ridiculousness of the ad copy...