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Facebook Friend suggestions: Threat or Menace?
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jducoeur
Pardon a brief grouse, but making 20 suggestions of people I should friend on Facebook is *not* a service to me. It is doubly not a service when 19 of those people are folks I don't know from Adam, just completely random people in the club who happen to be on Facebook. I'm loose about who I friend, but I do require that I at least have *met* someone before I friend them.

(The thing that's particularly making me cranky is that now half those people have sent me friending requests because of this. I can easily just delete and ignore the suggestions, but it always makes me twitch to have to ignore a direct friend request, even if it's somebody I don't know. But I refuse to let my flist get *that* out of control...)

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(Deleted comment)
I have filters on my FB just like for LJ; a lot of people who like my website like to read my entries, apparently. So I post some things for anyone, and some just to a small group.

I actually don't care about the privacy aspect, really: I don't trust Facebook in the slightest, so I never put anything on it that I don't consider public. For me, it's more about the reading side, and not letting my news feed get too overwhelming. For people I know, I'm willing to add them and then decide whether to filter them off my main view, but I'm not going to go to that nuisance for somebody I don't know at all...

I don't think of it as a privacy issue; more of a "is this interesting enough that people who don't know me will care?" I only share dull stuff with my friends. ;)


I think the problem is the word "Friend".

Unfriending is perceived as an unfriendly act.
Friending is perceived by the person friending that you are actively reading everything they write.

Facebook deliberately manipulates its users with these words, and I simply opt out of playing the game. My friends know me, and if my neighbor from when I was 5 seriously wants to follow my activities 35 years later, they'll have to take their chances with me saying "no".

Personally, I like LiveJournal better, and will use it for things I actually want read rather than just status updates.

This sounds like yet another reason for me to be glad that I've never tried to use Facebook. Hell, if a search for information lands me on a FB page I tend to leave without puzzling through it. Just not worth my time and mental energy to me.

My name is Elric, I'm getting older and crankier, and I wrote this message. ;-)

And I support it! I am abso********lutely NOT on FaceBook. Huzzah for us old cranky types!

I think they've broadened their "suggest" algorithm recently. It used to be vaguely useful (at least half the people it suggested were ones I had at least heard of, even if I had no interest in connecting with them), but for the latest round, the criteria appear to be "this person has the same first or last name as one of your friends."

Oddly enough, my list of FB friends has always been completely out of control, but apparently almost none of them except the people I actually know ever post anything (other than game and fluff requests, which I've blocked.)

Actually, I completely understand where these suggestions came from: they're all in one of my clubs, and I know who suggested the connections. (It wasn't Facebook per se -- it was a person who was trying to be helpful and overdoing it.) But of the list, I think I only know one of them at all...

Edited at 2010-08-18 02:04 am (UTC)

... and then there's the people I've deliberately chosen not to friend, or have at some point unfriended, who FB can really stop parading past me at any time. I'm not happy thinking that it's probably telling them to friend me too.

But yeah, people I've never met ever, not even chatted with online or exchanged a single email with, are totally not going to get friended no matter how many times I request. If I have absolutely no idea who you are, we're not what I'd call friends!

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