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Life -- not too bad
Since folks have been asking: I'm hanging in there. There are still some bad moments (I expect that's going to continue for a long while), but the past couple of days have gone decently well. A few high points for a random diary entry --

Work has gone very well this week, and that's done much to improve my mood. Memento's been very understanding, but *I* have been very frustrated at how little I've been accomplishing at work. I nominally went back to work more or less full-time last week, but didn't get much done. The past few days, though, have seen a real burst of activity on my part, with the result that I've gotten done most of what I set out to do this sprint.

(This was helped by having a heart-to-heart with the product manager, who admitted that, while he *gave* me wireframe-level designs, he's not actually attached to them -- so long as I give him the spirit of what he wants, he's cool with it. This gave me wiggle-room to redesign the features to be more consistent with the rest of the product, resulting in vastly cleaner code -- and cleaner code almost always means a more-usable product to boot. Clean code and usable designs both flow from consistent abstractions.)

Last night was Council, which was fairly ordinary, but I finally got to meet the current Provost of Felding and give her a ride home. This does my heart good: I still fly the Felding Taxi Corps badge on my car, and I always enjoy getting to help out the students. We chatted a bunch about SCA stuff, including the Friday dance eventlet that I'm teaching for in a couple of weeks, and it generally, again, left me feeling useful.

The ice dam has been coming and going. Oddly, it seems to be consistently worst when it is coldest out -- far as I can tell, the freeze is sealing off the dam. When the weather gets warmer, the leak stops, so it appears that the water is managing to find outlets when the temps go up. This is lovely: it suggests that the leak is self-limiting. And the thaw over the past couple of days was fabulous: there was something primally satisfying about taking the ice pick to the now-softened ice on the driveway.

I'm keeping extremely busy, which is part of why I've been posting a bit less. This weekend looks like utter insanity -- poker Friday night, game playtesting on Saturday, and Cooks Guild on Sunday -- but for now I'm erring on the side of Too Busy. I'll need to back off from that some, but for now it's helping me avoid dwelling too much.

(Next Monday will be hard, though. I think I need to get a rose for her grave -- that'll be painful, but I don't think I can cope with not doing so...)

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Too Busy is a good defense against thinking too much. Go with it as long as it works for you - that's what I did.

I took an 8 week sabbatical from work (because I knew I would be useless anyway and my boss was accommodating) but I volunteered to teach computer classes at my kids' school. That was a completely new thing for me and cheered me immensely.

Your apprentice may have managed to wrangle me back into the (local) SCA. We will see if it takes. (; (I at least had a fabulous time at archery practice with her, will be going back tonight, and may continue after she leaves. Pondering a new persona ...)

I am very glad to hear you are doing better, and thanks from a Felding Auntie for continuing to be part of the Taxi Corps. I remember how helpful that was, and am still grateful! <3

Heh. Glad to hear that my apprentice is doing good...

I am attempting to build good relations between the Barony of Calafia and the Barony of Carolingia. Hopefully, I've done all right so far... :)

I have not absconded with any of their cookies. (Yet.)

Too busy is a good way to cope for a while. When you slow down, you'll be ready for the occasional "dam failure behind the eyes." As for the rose, don't beat yourself up if the the weather refuses to co-operate. Rose visits can wait if the weather's too harsh.

Oh, I'm not worried about the weather -- I just know that it's going to be one of those emotionally hard moments. (But I also know that ducking the emotionally hard moments too much is going to eat at me...)

I'm glad to hear you're hanging in there. A little bit of Busy at times like these is usually pretty helpful, as you've already noted. I'm sure you'll find the right balance.

As a Felding once upon a time ago, I thought I'd express my thanks again for your Felding Taxi Corps. Your company and enthusiasm for the SCA are very appreciated (as is the ride). :)

As near as we can tell with Martha's ice damn, the roof itself is OK but the water is hitting the damn, and going back up (and therefore at the tiles from an unexpected direction and therefore between them), then freezing and separating the tiles. I hope it's something equally mundane for you - roof issue suck!

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