I'm actually having a generally good day today. But today's twinge came from a slightly unexpected source: cleaning out the bathroom reading. Nothing dramatic -- I simply collected all of the old catalogs that she'd put in there, and moved them to the recycling. It still got to me, and it took a while to figure out the nature of the emotion, but I eventually got it: it feels *disrespectful*. Yes, it's junk; yes, it's junk that even she wouldn't have kept quite this long. (Most of it predates The Cruise From Hell.) But still -- throwing out stuff that was clearly hers, without getting her okay first, feels wrong on a totally primal level.
There's a lot more of that particular twinge to come -- I've long since concluded that I *must* start cleaning the house and asserting control of it, if I'm ever going to own my own life. But I suspect I'll be apologizing a bit, in the back of my mind, throughout...
Edited at 2011-02-16 02:02 am (UTC)
And I remain impressed at her equanimity, despite being confined to our stateroom for a couple of days, and confined to a wheelchair for the second half of the cruise -- she still managed to have a broadly good time...
I have to confess, I'm a packrat, partly because I don't want to deal with the emotions of throwing things out that have any sort of meaning whatsoever. Kudos to you for managing it anyway.
You know that you do not have to do everything or anything with stuff right now unless you want to.
I congratulate you on your fortitude.
Edited at 2011-02-16 03:11 pm (UTC)
Take care, friend.
*hug*
I like the suggestion of apologizing out loud. Do whatever works for you, and try not to feel too bad about it.
Edited at 2011-02-16 07:48 pm (UTC)