Justin du Coeur (jducoeur) wrote,
Justin du Coeur
jducoeur

Pointless Guilt

It's curious to note how remarkably guilty I feel when I miss a local event. I take considerable pride in making it to nearly all Carolingian events -- it feels very strange to have one going on while I'm sitting around in my bathrobe. Despite the fact that I'm not on the hook to do anything at this one, there's an odd feeling of letting down the team, or something like that.

Rationally speaking, punting is the right thing to do. While I'm feeling worlds better than yesterday (as the doctor predicted, this is mostly a one-day virus), I'm still slightly queasy, rather shaky (presumably because I haven't had any solid food in 36 hours), tired and aching all over. Not to mention that I don't know the contagion cycle of this particular virus, and I don't want anyone else getting this one on my account. This presumably came from an event in the first place (I came down with it three days after msmemory, who came down with it three days after Birka), and that's a cycle I don't need to perpetuate.

Still, it's rather disappointing. Carolingian University doesn't happen often, and I was looking forward to the lectures. Oh, well -- the hardest lesson for me, which I am spending years slowly learning, is that it just isn't possible for me to do everything that I want to. There just isn't enough time...
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